Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover Ft. Sam Kinison
Stream Unconsciousness
Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover Ft. Sam Kinison for this post and Jerry Seinfeld, Sarah Silverman, Kathy Griffin and Joe Rogan to follow in subsequent posts.
I've written that while trying to write this newsletter daily, I'm also working on a book called Beyond the Mic--My 7 Years Working as General Manager of the Laugh Factory. I've written over 100 pages so far and have decided to start posting excerpts here to hear some feedback. I posted one version of the cover but below is another. (The expression comes from the idea that you may look at the cover of a book and decide it's not for you without knowing what's inside. I hope that's not the case with mine...)
So the chapter entitled, Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover will cover Sam Kinison, Jerry Seinfeld, Sarah Silverman, Kathy Griffin and Joe Rogan, all of whom I knew way back when. It's called that because each of these comedians has a reputation for being a certain way and really aren't that way. They have much more nuanced personalities which is why they are such good comics. The outward appearance of someone is not always aligned with how they truly are. So, my first story is about Sam Kinison who was known as "The Most Dangerous Man in Show Business," because he who looked a little scary onstage to most and certainly had some wild extracurricular activity going on, but was one of the kindest comedians I ever knew.
The first night I met Sam, I went up to the office at the Laugh Factory where he was with a few friends having some drinks. I walked in to let him know he had about 5 minutes before he had to go onstage and I noticed a white line of cocaine about 3 feet long—literally—on the desk. He grabbed a straw out of his pocket and snorted the entire thing. I thought he might have a heart attack. Far from it. He went onstage and killed. He got a standing ovation. The atmosphere was electric as was he. He proceeded to buy the entire audience drinks and gave each of the waitresses $100 tips. He was always kind and courteous. I met him again on New Year’s Eve where he proceeded to pass out in front of the bar. I tried to get him up but he was out cold. We checked to make sure he was breathing and left him alone as we closed up. We were all just cleaning and closing up and there was this 300+ pound man lying on the floor. It was surreal. I did try to wake him up and made sure he had a pulse. There was no waking him up. A couple of other comedians said that he passed out at the Comedy Store too sometimes. They told me to just leave him alone to sleep it off. We told Pat, this guy who worked and slept at the Laugh Factory, to keep an eye on him. He apparently woke up and left sometime in the wee hours of the morning. The cocaine could not stop the alcohol from taking hold. When you do cocaine you can definitely drink more to a point. He went way past that point. I was frankly amazed at the amount he could consume.
One night, I went to the Rainbow Bar & Grill (better known as the Rainbow Room,) located in the Sunset Strip (if those walls could talk) with him and Carl LaBove who was a fellow comedian and Sam’s best friend. He was also a very funny comedian but always sort of lived in Sam’s shadow. He opened for him on the road and was with him all the time. One night, I told Carl I had a really high tolerance for alcohol and would have no problem keeping up with him and Sam. He said, “OK hot stuff, let’s see what you got. I’m going to meet Sam and Ozzy at the Rainbow Room. Wanna come?” Did I wanna come? Are you kidding me? I was so excited I almost slid off my chair. We got to the Rainbow Room and there were Sam and Ozzy Osbourne. I couldn’t believe it! I was so nervous and they could tell. Ozzy got up to shake my hand and I have no idea what he said and never did understand what he was saying. When he talked, I just nodded my head. But he seemed to be a very nice guy. I tried my best to “keep up,” but about 5 drinks or maybe shots in, I went to the bathroom and vomited. When you’re in your twenties you think you have the world by the tail—or at least I did. Sam asked me why I wanted to keep up with them. He told me they were all alcoholics and I was a young woman who didn’t need that in her repertoire so to speak. They were all total gentleman which one might not have expected. You see about judging a book?
I went to Sam’s funeral and I have never been to a more entertaining event as perverse as that may sound. Richard Belzer was the emcee and the list of celebrities who attended was unprecedented. Everyone from Robin Williams to Jim Carrey to Charlie Sheen to Mickey Rourke to Dan Akroyd. Robin Williams gave the funniest eulogy I have ever heard.
It’s so ironic that Sam was killed by a drunk driver. The story goes something like this--On April 10, 1992 Sam was on his way to Laughlin, Nevada to perform at a sold-out show in his Pontiac Trans Am. A pick-up truck driven by a drunk teenager, crashed into his car. Carl and Sam’s brother Bill had been following Sam in a van. Right after the crash, Sam was alive according to Carl and Bill. He then laid down and he looked to someone who wasn’t there physically. That’s when he said “I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.” But then he paused as if someone in the non-physical world was talking to him. Then he asked, “But why?” and after another pause “Okay, Okay, Okay.” Carl said, “Whatever voice was talking to him gave him the right answer and he just relaxed with it.”
He used to be a Pentecostal preacher which is how he honed his skills as an orator. He got married for the third time to Malika Souiri. He was having an affair with her sister, whose name was Sabrina like mine. Any time he saw me he would always say how much he loved the name Sabrina. One time I overheard Malika talking to her friend and her friend asked how she was able to have sex with Sam because he was a rather large guy. She said, and I’m paraphrasing here—I just hop off. I had to run to the bathroom so they wouldn’t see me cracking up because I had overheard the conversation.
Carl and Sam had been best friends for years. It was so upsetting to Carl when he discovered that Sam was the biological father of Carl’s child. Sam had been dead for years so they took a DNA test from Sam’s brother Bill and it showed there was a 99.8% likelihood that Sam was the biological father. I’m not sure how it even came up but it did. I can’t even imagine the betrayal Carl felt not to mention he had been paying child support for 13 years and went through an acrimonious divorce.
I knew Carl much better than Sam as Carl performed regularly at the Laugh Factory and Sam did not. Carl was a mensch. He died in April of 2021 of cancer. I’m sure he and Sam have made amends on the other side. Who knows if Sam were alive today if he would ever be permitted to perform considering cancel culture today. He certainly had his demons but I think that’s what fueled his comedy. He made his mark as one of the best stand-ups of all time.
Since his death, there have been many press releases about a film by his brother Bill Kinison in development. Howard Stern had optioned the rights years ago and Universal and HBO have been attached but this is Hollywood so who knows if and when however Bill wrote a book, the cover of which is below. So far nothing has come to fruition with the film so far as I know, but films can take many years to be made so we will be eagerly waiting.
That's all for now...Check out classic Sam...
